1. The Kickstart Question: What’s on your mind? This gets to the heart of the conversation. It’s another way of saying let’s talk about the thing that matters most. The person we’re talking to will be relieved on multiple levels: a) we’ve skipped the small talk b) we’re letting them immediately address the main issue c) they’re being listened

A good way for us to deepen the conversation (once we’ve discovered the main problem), is to ask which one of the three P’s they’d like to discuss: a) Project - the technical content of their problem. b) Person - issues with colleagues, family, etc. c) Pattern of behaviour - are they getting in their own way?review

  1. The AWE Question: And what else? Asking and what else? stops us from diving in with advice after hearing someone’s problems. It also gets all of the issues on the table, because the first-level answer to what’s on your mind may not address the biggest

  1. The Focus Question: What’s the real challenge here for you? Everyone loves fixing problems, ticking them off on the to-do list. But we rarely stop to ask “are we solving the right problem?”* When we ask what’s the real challenge her for you?, we give our conversation partner time to slow down and think about what their real problem is, before they put loads of work into a possibly pointless

  1. The Lazy Question: How can I help? If we haven’t already got a clear request from asking what do you want, then how can I help should do the trick. More importantly, this question is efficient. It stops us from kind of doing what the other person wants, but not accurately enough that it’s actually