Life Coach — Why Your Energy Drives Your Success in Life - Simon Alexander Ong

Metadata

• Author: Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
• Full Title: Life Coach — Why Your Energy Drives Your Success in Life - Simon Alexander Ong
• URL: https://share.snipd.com/episode/d13c3994-94cd-48fb-941d-dd0838b9692d

Highlights

The Importance of Coaching Key takeaways: (* Coaching is less about telling you what to do and more about guiding you back to what you already know through the power of questions.) Transcript: Speaker 2 So it is a kind of like being a teacher, but you’re not teaching like maths or history, you’re teaching what like. Speaker 1 Yes, I would be careful with the definition here. I think when we teach, we’re more of a mentor. OK. So for example, if I wanted to develop my speaking, I might seek out somebody who is far more experienced to me in the public speaking world. And so he or she would be my mentor because I could learn a lot from them. They could guide me. They could teach me. Coaching is less about telling you what to do and more about guiding you back to what you already know through the power of questions. You know, often we, we hear the saying that goes, want a better answer, ask a better question. (Time 0:05:17)

How to be a Better Coach Key takeaways: (* Coaching is less about telling you what to do and more about guiding you back to what you already know through the power of questions., * Coaching is all about asking the right question in the right moment to uncover the path forward for your client.) Transcript: Speaker 2 So it is a kind of like being a teacher, but you’re not teaching like maths or history, you’re teaching what like. Speaker 1 Yes, I would be careful with the definition here. I think when we teach, we’re more of a mentor. OK. So for example, if I wanted to develop my speaking, I might seek out somebody who is far more experienced to me in the public speaking world. And so he or she would be my mentor because I could learn a lot from them. They could guide me. They could teach me. Coaching is less about telling you what to do and more about guiding you back to what you already know through the power of questions. You know, often we, we hear the saying that goes, want a better answer, ask a better question. And so coaching is all about asking the right question in the right moment to uncover the path forward for your client. (Time 0:05:17)

How to Find a Coach Key takeaways: (* Finding a coach is easy., * It is important to get a feel for what a coach is like before signing up., * Coaching is hard to explain to someone who has never gone through the experience.) Transcript: Speaker 2 How does one find a coach? And like, so like, I, for example, no bunch of people who are like, you know, maybe they’ve got a job that they don’t particularly enjoy it. Like it’s fine. And they’re holding it out until the next promotion or whatever. And they know they want to maybe start a side hustler, start a business on the side. They don’t really know where to start. And it’s like, and they’ll come to me for advice being like, where do I start? And I’m like, Oh, I mean, if you were the four I work with, and then I fast, I mean, I can recommend a few books, but I’ve never once thought, Oh, you should hire a coach. Because in my, even though I’ve had coaches for the last two years, it’s not a thing that connects. Whereas if someone came into me and said, how do I get better at tennis? I was like, hire a tennis coach, obviously. That’s just a no brainer. Yeah. So where does one get started? If one might want to find a coach, how does that work? Sure. Speaker 1 Well, the great thing about today’s environment is that we can find a coach from multitude of different platforms. So whether it is online, whether it is for a referral, an introduction, or simply hopping onto Google. Now, as with anything before you invest in a coach, it’s important to get a feel for what that person is like. And that’s why you should seek out an experience. And that is why when I, when I work with younger coaches who are looking to build their business, I always say, the greatest gift you can give people before they sign up to you as a client is to give them an experience of what coaching is about. Because coaching is very hard to explain to someone who has never gone through the experience. And so when you can invite somebody to have a powerful conversation, that’s when they walk out of the room and said, I need coaching. (Time 0:08:00)

The Importance of Curiosity Key takeaways: (* Curiosity is a key ingredient to starting any new journey, be it entrepreneurship, coaching, or anything else., * It’s important to be open to new opportunities and experiences, as they will lead to new insights and insights that can help you achieve your goals.) Transcript: Speaker 1 So I give an example. Yeah. My journey into coaching wasn’t because I woke up one morning and said, you know, I want to coach and speak for the rest of my life. Okay. I was in the financial industry. Yeah. I was disillusioned. I was feeling unfulfilled. Yeah. And so my curiosity at the time was what would life be like if I worked for myself and I didn’t work for other people? Okay. Now that curiosity led me to read business books to what shows about entrepreneurship that led me into my first business venture, which didn’t succeed. But again, I would never have started it without that curiosity. That led me to get involved in some community projects, to be exposed to different people in different environments, which led me to my second business, which didn’t work out. But in that second business led me to people that guided me to this coaching event that happened one weekend that we can became the beginning of my journey. But it was curiosity that created those stepping stones. Now, here’s why it’s important. Whenever we begin a new path, we don’t get given the entire map up front. (Time 0:24:44)

How to Achieve a Vision Key takeaways: (* Having a compelling vision is necessary for taking action., * It is important to focus on taking small steps in order to move closer to the vision., * It is important to stay motivated by thinking about what is in one’s control and taking action on those small steps.) Transcript: Speaker 2 So you mentioned that there’s this sort of magnetic field of vision. So then by vision, do you just mean what is the next step? Or like, how far out are we planning here? Sure. Speaker 1 So there’s an element of having a balance here. You have to have a vision to give you context for today. Otherwise, you can take any action because you don’t know where it’s going to lead or where you want to be. So the vision is something that is compelling enough for you to want to take some action. Okay. Now, when we look at the action piece, it’s not about taking big steps. It’s then about taking small steps. So thinking big and starting small, that’s the balance that we have to get. Now, the thinking big piece is what activates our emotions. Yeah, when we think about something that we want to achieve in our lifetime, that is what creates that emotional pull. When we look at a present, it’s what is the one small step that is in my control that I can take to date? That’s it. Just focus on today. One small step that will contribute to that vision starting to take shape. And in tomorrow, ask yourself the same question. What is one small step that I can take today that will move me forward? So that’s the balance we have to have. (Time 0:26:22)

How to focus on your passions Key takeaways: (* To increase space in one’s diary to explore an interest, one should eliminate or reduce activities to give oneself more time to focus on that interest., * To increase focus, one should focus on today’s IQ, which is not about how much information one knows, but about one’s ability to focus.) Transcript: Speaker 1 So what I mean by space is, well, let’s look at your week. How much space in your diary do you currently have and how much would you need to actually give this some proper dedication? So I would look at your week and say, okay, what can you eliminate or what can you reduce to give yourself some more oxygen and space to explore this interest of yours? Now, once we’ve got that in place, the next part is to actually get some focus. And I think it was Cal Newport the first talked about focus being today’s IQ. He said that in the past, we would measure people’s IQ by how much they knew. Nowadays, when you and I can go into Google, we can ask Amazon Alexa and get an answer within seconds. It’s not about how much you know now. It’s about your ability to focus. (Time 0:49:18)review

How to design your days to achieve your goals Key takeaways: (* To be productive, you need to have a clear goal and plan for the week, and space in your diary to work towards it., * To focus, you need to set boundaries and limits on what you will and will not allow yourself to do, and be aware of how much time you are spending on each task., * To design a life that is fulfilling, you need to start by designing your days.) Transcript: Speaker 1 So what I mean by space is, well, let’s look at your week. How much space in your diary do you currently have and how much would you need to actually give this some proper dedication? So I would look at your week and say, okay, what can you eliminate or what can you reduce to give yourself some more oxygen and space to explore this interest of yours? Now, once we’ve got that in place, the next part is to actually get some focus. And I think it was Cal Newport the first talked about focus being today’s IQ. He said that in the past, we would measure people’s IQ by how much they knew. Nowadays, when you and I can go into Google, we can ask Amazon Alexa and get an answer within seconds. It’s not about how much you know now. It’s about your ability to focus. And so the next question I would ask is how will you know that with the space you have over the next seven days, it will have been the productive week. And so it’s beginning with the end in mind. So now what we’re doing is we’re bringing a bit of focus into the space that we’ve created. And then now, once we’ve got this put together, we now have some path that we’re working towards. Because at a high level, if we want to design our life, if we want to design something that is fulfilling, it begins with designing our days. If we can’t design our days, how can we expect to design a life? (Time 0:49:18)review

How to design your days to be productive and fulfilling Key takeaways: (* If you want to pursue a career in teaching, you should be realistic about the financial rewards and be open to other opportunities that may be available., * It is important to focus on what you are passionate about and what will make you happy, rather than being attached to the outcome of your work.) Transcript: Speaker 1 So what I mean by space is, well, let’s look at your week. How much space in your diary do you currently have and how much would you need to actually give this some proper dedication? So I would look at your week and say, okay, what can you eliminate or what can you reduce to give yourself some more oxygen and space to explore this interest of yours? Now, once we’ve got that in place, the next part is to actually get some focus. And I think it was Cal Newport the first talked about focus being today’s IQ. He said that in the past, we would measure people’s IQ by how much they knew. Nowadays, when you and I can go into Google, we can ask Amazon Alexa and get an answer within seconds. It’s not about how much you know now. It’s about your ability to focus. And so the next question I would ask is how will you know that with the space you have over the next seven days, it will have been the productive week. And so it’s beginning with the end in mind. So now what we’re doing is we’re bringing a bit of focus into the space that we’ve created. And then now, once we’ve got this put together, we now have some path that we’re working towards. Because at a high level, if we want to design our life, if we want to design something that is fulfilling, it begins with designing our days. If we can’t design our days, how can we expect to design a life? Speaker 2 Okay. So, can I come back to the question of would you recommend the career path? It sounds like, yeah, if you want to make money and you enjoy teaching and you think you’d use the money to do something good, then it would be reasonable. I’m all for that. Speaker 1 Because as long as it’s a path that is fulfilling for you, that you are interested in, that you’re curious about, that pleased your strengths, why not? But also not to be attached to the outcome of it. I went to Kyoto in Japan and there was a beautiful English statement at one of the temples. And it read, be attached to no outcome and open to everything. Now, I’ve tried my best to embody that principle throughout my entrepreneurial journey. (Time 0:49:18)review

The Principle of Detachment: How to Enjoy the Journey, Not Just the Destination Key takeaways: (* Because as long as it’s a path that is fulfilling for you, that you are interested in, that you’re curious about, that pleased your strengths, why not? But also not to be attached to the outcome of it., * To achieve multiple outcomes, you need to focus on enjoying the process, putting healthy discipline systems in place, and detach yourself from outcomes.) Transcript: Speaker 1 Because as long as it’s a path that is fulfilling for you, that you are interested in, that you’re curious about, that pleased your strengths, why not? But also not to be attached to the outcome of it. I went to Kyoto in Japan and there was a beautiful English statement at one of the temples. And it read, be attached to no outcome and open to everything. Now, I’ve tried my best to embody that principle throughout my entrepreneurial journey. Because I think so many of us get caught up in outcomes. So we’ll try something. And if it doesn’t work out, we tend to stop and give up. But if we can detach ourselves from outcomes, then what it allows us to do is simply just experiment. And as the second part of the sentence says, be open to everything. Very often we’re like, when I get this, when I get more time, when this happens, when I get that qualification, then I’ll start. When everything is ready, but the fact is we’ll never be 100% ready. And if we’re always measuring our success by outcomes only, then it’s not going to be a very enjoyable journey. But actually, if we can focus on who we are becoming, how we are going for our own personal metamorphosis in the journey, that to me is the greatest reward. It’s not what you get, but it’s who you become in the process. Okay, nice. Speaker 2 So as I’m going through this path of learning to become a coach, because maybe the destination I have in mind is like, I’ll make an extra couple of grandi a month. But it sounds like you’re saying I should also figure out a way to, I guess, enjoy the process and become the sort of person I want to become through the journey. Rather than being fixated on, like, I need to make two K-month extra. Speaker 1 Definitely, because I think if you focus on enjoying the process, if you start to put healthy discipline systems in place, what happens is that you’re setting yourself up to achieve multiple outcomes, not just one outcome. But you open yourself up to achieve outcomes that you may not even see possible right now. (Time 0:50:47)review

Episode AI notes 1. Coaching is less about telling someone what to do and more about helping them discover their own knowledge and skills through the power of questions. 2. When looking for a coach, it’s important to get a feel for their personality and offer a strategy session before investing. 3. Curiosity is a key ingredient to starting any new journey, and it’s important to be open to new opportunities and experiences. 4. Having a compelling vision is essential for taking action, but it’s equally important to focus on taking small steps every day to move closer to that vision. 5. Eliminating unnecessary tasks and focusing on one’s passions is key to designing a fulfilling life. 6. Detaching from outcomes allows us to experiment without giving up, focus on enjoying the process, and setting ourselves up to achieve multiple outcomes. (View Highlight)review